Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize