she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
