never play flip cup with pint glasses
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
