google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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