god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize