know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
