My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
