I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
