Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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