I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
