Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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