Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize