if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
