i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
do herpes really smell.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
