Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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