I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
