Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
