absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
