We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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