you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
