I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
