i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
