he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
