I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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