Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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