you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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