Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
