I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
