u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
