I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
