Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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