your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize