me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
