Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
