I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize