I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I am mentally ready for anal.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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