I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
