I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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