that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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