I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
