I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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