Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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