I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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