how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
