Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
