Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
