what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize