I skipped work to stalk him.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
