I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize