Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
