I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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