how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
