It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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