just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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