so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
