Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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