I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
