Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Everyone says I win the strip club
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
