she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
