A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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