are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
third nipple confirmed
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
