C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
